I am the girl that has a protective and strict mum. Honestly, many gigs and events I go to, are all without her knowledge because out of 10 times I ask if I can go, probably only 1 or 2 times the answer is actually a YES. And yea, I am someone that really has NO artistic talent for drawing or designing, even my handwriting sucks. But yet I still put in a lot of effort to do cards. None of the cards I have done took less than an hour. And yes, of course I ask myself why I put so much effort when I could use the time studying or catching up on my sleep. But I still put in that much effort even though it doesn't turn out as nice as the cards other people do because I know that at the end of the day, IT IS WORTH IT. I am a girl that spends more than she has, but yet still always tells herself to get at least SOMETHING for that someone even if it means going hungry for the next week.I am the kind of girl that will still take time to be appreciative and do cards for people who don't give two shits about me. I am that 18 year old girl that wishes to be able to do everything well, BETTER.
Sometimes you ask yourself why you still go all out and be appreciative towards people you love - friends, family, celebrities, idols. Sometimes you ask yourself if it's worth it. Sometimes you ask yourself why you're still on the face of the earth.
I am the girl that has been hurt and betrayed by her so called " friends ", one that still tried to trust people despite everything and ends up getting disappointed because the same people that you love and treasure, just continues to hurt you. I am that girl that has tried to close one eye when her " friends " go behind her back and bitch about her, lie to her straight in her face, one that valued friendship more than anything. People always took advantage of me, and soon I find myself building up walls, trust no longer comes by easily. Yes I am still that outgoing and friendly person when getting to know someone but things are completely different.
Sometimes I ask myself why I love so easily, why I trusted too easily. Sometimes I ask myself why I am the one people think they can get away with bitching about. Sometimes I ask myself, WHY ME?
People always come up to me and say " woah you are so close to so many celebrities " and sometimes I have random people coming up to me and saying " hey you're sarrahhearts right? " at the most random places and events. I've had my friends now " friends " telling me I should stop going after all these celebrities and learn to appreciate the ones close to me and that I interact with on a more frequent basis. They said I should learn to be more appreciative of them. Yes, I did build relationships with my loved ones, I even did cards on a frequent basis to show them I appreciated them. But it never seemed enough. Me being me, I continued talking to celebrities and things would just continue going downhill.
Some people make it their life's mission to tear you down. They don't care if you're their friend. They try to bring you down to a lower level. But the fact they try to do that, it means that they are below you so don't ever stoop down to their level. If they're really your friends, they wouldn't be two-faced with you. Some people if they've hurt or lied to you before, they WILL do it again. Learn to be the bigger person and forgive them but ultimately it is YOUR choice if you could continue trusting them or being friends.
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